Halfkatch Energy buys 74,576 gas wells in Saskatchewan

SPEEDY CREEK, Saskatchewan – In the early years of the 21st century, oil and gas operators were primarily focused on natural gas and less on oil properties, which is quite contrary to today’s exploration climate.  In those years, there were thousands and thousands of wells drilled into what were termed Shallow Gas Resource Plays.  Plug & Burn was another term used for this type of development.

These wells were so cheap and so easy to drill that most of the gas was produced by the time the price fell in 2008 and 2009.  This left many operators with tens of thousands of wells all over the Western Canadian Sedimentary Basin with little production and inordinately high operational costs.

In 2013, these wells are a stain on the oil and gas industry.  No CEO, CFO, or even a useless COO in his right mind would admit that the wells are an abandonment and reclamation liability, because the costs for such action could reach into the billions of dollars.  That statement in itself should makes stock prices tumble.  But one brave soul at Halfkatch Energy believes there is hope for the wells that he terms ‘the runts of the litter’.  Salamon Freechild, recently appointed COO of Weyburn-based Halfkatch Energy, has made a deal with over 40 operators to take over their shallow gas properties for $1 CAN.  Halfkatch will also assume all liability for these wells, which number exactly 74, 576.

We see an opportunity here no one else did.  We have a plan, and we are going to swing for the fences and hit this golf ball out of the end zone.  Halfkatch has a new way of doing business, and that way is going to teach you all a definitive lesson on how an oil and gas business should operate.  Period.  Hold my beer, and watch this! – Mr. Freechild at a Roughriders game in Regina

A plan designed by Halfkatch, and recently released to the media, is novel in every sense of the word.  Well thought out may be something entirely different.  Halfkatch plans to strip mine the shallow gas fields much the same way as Suncor and Shell pit mine the oil sands.  A plan to incorporate Shop Vac and balloon technology into their gas gathering system has investors and technical professional all scratching their heads, but a firm from south Texas claims they have the answer.

We use a gas thickener to make the gas float around on the ground on the deeper portion of the pits we mine.  Then, we use scaled down vacuum trucks to collect the gas and fill balloons with it.  These balloons can then literally float to a gas extraction depo.  No pipelines, no infrastructure, and no produced water to deal with, it merely stays in the mine.  An extraction facility is really neat too, it look’s like a plate with nails through it.  It simply squashes and pops the balloons into the tank at the refinery.  GENIUS! – Waldorn Drun, senior engineer at NathinWerx Engineering, Texas.

2P News will stay abreast of this developing scandal, and report on an actual developments, as nervous investors await the results of the novel development plan on pins and needles.