Group awarded honourary seating at Starbucks

CALGARY, Alberta – An appreciation ceremony was held at a +15 Starbucks yesterday for 3 men and one lucky woman.  The 4 individuals were the first in Starbucks history to spend enough money in 12 months to earn the Starbucks Platinum Rewards card, and a designated, permanently reserved seat at this particular location.  Starbucks had a special booth constructed with leather recliners, table, and charging ports for phones and laptops.

With dedicated aficionados like them, we really need to show our appreciation.  We know they are loyal to the core, and I really think they deserve everything they get as a thank you from our great corporation. – Jimmy Wrangler, Starbucks Manager

Most people that spend too much time going for coffee at Starbucks in Calgary, earn a Gold Rewards card within the first 3 or 4 months.  The requirement is that you make 30 purchases in 12 months on a registered gift card.  Once that milestone is met, a Gold Card is mailed out to you and you have the privilege of spending even more money and time on coffee.

What is not widely known to the general public, is the reality of the Platinum Rewards program.  If a registered Starbucks user spend an amount in excess of $25,000 in a 12 months period (not including at a Starbucks within a Starbucks location), he or she is flown to Seattle for a hand-shake meeting with executives.  The member is handed a solid Platinum Card, then returned home.  The Starbucks location that earned the majority of the member’s business then rewards him or her  with a ceremony and a plaque, as well as the private booth previously mentioned.

I just want to say, this is great.  I love this chair!  And from now on, Kip knows who his fans are.  YOU MAKE GREAT COFFEE KIP! – Gianna Shee, recipient of yesterday’s Platinum reward card

The entire staff from here at 2P News, from writers and reporters to the editors, wanted to delve a little deeper into how this actually plays out.  With some digging, one editor pulled some engineering skills out of his brain closet and calculated what seems to be a disturbing answer:

If all 4 people usually got coffee together, for socialization and team building, and even if they spent the maximum of about $5.00 per latte or mochachino, $25,000 is a lot to spend per person.  I estimate that as a group, every day for a year, they would have bought 55 coffee drinks.  That’s almost 14 coffees a day each!  Now if you half that with food, snacks, or water, that’s still 6 or 7 500 calorie drinks a day, plus caffeine.

So either these idiots were buying cases of bottled water, or they are seriously addicted, messed up individuals who should seek help.  And who do they work for anyway!?  6 coffee breaks a day, at an average of even 20 minutes with walking, means they skipped 2 hours of work getting high on Starbucks.  Do they make that time up by working 24 hours a day?  Antoine gets pissed off if I stop working to take a leak! – Darcy Flowman, Editor 2P News