Archeologists unearth the world’s oldest drilling rig to date in southern Turkey

CAIRO, Egypt – In 2019, Palestinian workers in the Mersin area of southern Turkey unearthed a structure no one there could readily define. The Pandemic of course put a hold on further studies and many of the researchers found new employment or simply worked from home as the world shut down that ground international economies to a screeching halt.

Upon re-opening, some of the scientists, including an international contingent of 11 archeologists, returned to the site and continued digging, and 2 of the senior archeologists, who had been working from home on oil and gas projects, realized what they had found.

“This is the top of a drilling rig, coated with the remnants of a heavy oil, maybe 14 API. The top of the structure that we found comprises several circular discs with what seems to be traces of rope. Yeah, I’d say we’ve found the top of an ancient crown system!” –  Geoffery Geezfuch, P.Geo, visiting from Calgary, Alberta

The pulleys and rope fragments were discovered on the top of a newly excavated 6 foot section of what seems to be a bamboo and papyrus derrick, or drilling structure. Ground penetrating radar has shown that there is a significant stone structure below, almost 50 feet below the current surface of the dig. Estimations based on the images from the GPR hint at a wind- or horse-powered draw works, spools of what could be rope, and a dizzying array of long pieces of bamboo that could very well be ancient drill pipe.

“Much like the construction of the pyramids and other mystifying structures, we don’t know or may never know who created the technology or exactly what it was used for.  But we can see the remnants and try our best to piece together what this was.  To me, it would appear that drilling targeting oil was an ancient invention, not a recent one, but why we find it here and not near other technologically advanced structures we may never know,” Kipper Langishat, geological Coordinator at Site 758-9u5b, told 2P News’ field correspondent, Rodecker Smith.

But there is a camp of people who do not believe the partially unearthed structure can possibly be an ancient drilling rig. Wiebo Ludwig, with mainstream eco-terrorist organization Green POS, yelled out to Rodecker, “You fuckers have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about. I heard some asshole over by the excavation site say that this thing could be around 2,200 years old… don’t you guys know there was no oil back in those days?! The oil industry has only been around for the last 200 years you apple-polishing, fart-catching, ninnyhammer fuck-turds!”