Man saves intercontinental flight from drunk geologist

CALGARY, Alberta – Breaking news today as an Air Canada flight was almost grounded after an intoxicated geologist went on an angry tirade aboard the flight.  The geologist was apparently on his return flight from a work rotation in Reviknatia, Turmenistanikiwaniskisttstastan.

According to eyewitness reports, the geologist had so much to drink once the flight began serving alcohol, that he eventually attempted to geosteer the plane from his pod in business class.

The problem escalated just after the first meal, when he tried to educate the entire business class cabin about the dangers of having too much motor in the hole, and why a really good lubricant is always a good idea.  The situation took a turn for the worse when the intoxicated well-site professional started yelling at Kyle, an Air Canada representative seemingly caught in the middle of his confused and clouded rant.

I wasn’t even sure what he wanted?  He was yelling at me to go down at 86 degrees, so he could get into good reservoir?

I have no idea what he was talking about.  He was yelling about the damn MWD hand in coach, and how he was probably watching movies instead of doing his job, and that the plane’s trajectory would be much smoother if the damn pilots listened to him! – Kyle

The geologist didn’t stop there.  Eyewitnesses saw him aggressively wake up and irritate other passengers as well.  One man, a retired doctor from Vancouver, was sure that he had taken an odd illicit drug, probably acquired while working somewhere in Eurasia.

There were clear signs he had taken medication on top of all the booze I saw him consuming.  It was like he couldn’t say no to that nice fellow Kyle.  He had multiple shots, wine, more shots, and then some beer, followed by more shots.

I know geologists are heavy drinkers, and I think there was even an article on it.  But this was out of control.  He started yelling and shouting things about sandstone porosities and finding the relative air permeability?  Very odd, and very scary.  I’ve always said this was the problem with geologists. They just do not fit into any normal slice of civilized society. – Dr. Soss Odgephinggirs

The plane was landed as planned in Calgary at an elevation of +1053.3m above sea level.  The flight was largely trouble free, with the geological incident causing problems for 23.8% of the flight.

The geologist, who shall remain nameless as per APEGAs request, was remanded into the custody of Calgary Police and the Professional Adjudication Board.  His punishment will likely be a commingling of geological community service and geoscience alcohol rehabilitation therapy, both of which are first an foremost in Jim Prentice’s campaign to keep Alberta’s top spot 18 months from now.