10 great reasons to buy flowers for your boss

Typically, flowers are reserved for your loved ones on special occasions such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.  But flowers can also be given as a peace offering after you’ve done something stupid in the workplace.  Here are 10 good reasons you should buy flowers for your boss:

1. Baseball in the office hallway seemed like a great idea until the ball was hit into the boss’ office and smashed his Swarovski crystal APEGA Engineer of the Month trophy.
2. Your boss wore her nicest pant suit to the office and she caught you commenting about how “Hilary looked like she needed a Stickupherassectomy” to other colleagues.
3. You got really drunk at the company Christmas party and threw up on your boss’ shoes, then on the sidewalk, and then again in the cab.
4. The staff in the building across the street saw you urinating in your boss’ office plants, and sent the photos to your company HR director.
5. You got busted hitting on your boss’ wife at the company Stampede party, and then proceeded to justify it by claiming she was too sexy for him anyways.
6. All of the people in a meeting get caught texting each other about the boss’ new Trump haircut, and she is in in the meeting with you.
7. An email from you to 2 other co-workers goes company wide due to a typo, and the whole company hears what you had to say about her exemplary managerial skills.
8. You got caught in the escalator looking at him and ranting about 03-08-009-46W3.  And he knew what you meant.
9. The one day you decide to wear your spring break jogging outfit to the office on a Saturday, the Board of Directors is there for a meeting.
10. The Team Building event you participated in took a turn for the worse when you tripped and grabbed a handle you shouldn’t have while you tackled your boss in flag football.

So there you go, folks. The next time you pull a soft-headed move in the office that gets you in hot water with the ‘ol boss, it’s time to head over to your local florist to pickup some flowers to make amends.

Authored by Rodecker Smith, the latest addition to the team here at 2P News and another completely useless member of the oil and gas industry, trying something new and different.