Calgary’s Plus 15 walkways renamed “Tunnels of Love” after Nenshi discovers Tantra

CALGARY, Alberta – Diplomatic King.  Problem solver. Crowd favorite. He is the honourable Mayor Naheed Nenshi.  And the legend continues to grow with the landslide win of the 2013 civic election here in Calgary.  On the heels of some contentious issues that most people thought would plague Nenshi in the polls (Flood Systems and Skywalks), he came out on top regardless of the potential obstacles.  Until now.

The Plus 15 system in Calgary was officially coined The Tunnels of Love yesterday afternoon and by all accounts of the City’s civil engineering group, the change is permanent and already headed for new signage.  Each of the 236 signs pointing to the above ground heated walkways will be removed and replaced with Tunnel of Love signage and a corresponding Tantric number to identify where it leads.

The renaming comes on the heels of a rumored love tryst involving the mayor and a secret admirer at a political conference in Toronto three weeks ago.  The rendezvous was reported to 2P News, along with other, somewhat shady media houses by a witness who claims to have photos of the two in the thralls of passion.  These photos have not been presented as of yet and, and hopefully for the Mayor, they never will. 

I was taking pictures in the park that night, in case the aliens showed up.  I saw what looked like a spaceman in a purple suit clinging onto another person in a long cape and a hood.  They were obviously copulating.

 

I took the photos in case it was an alien breeding ritual, but it turns out it was Calgary’s Mayor, and from what I read, almost as rare a sight. – Witness, wishes to be called Jebedia

After the incident in Toronto, apparently Mayor Nenshi became obsessed with Tantra and all of the life and love lessons it teaches to reach whole body fulfillment.  In an effort to spread the love, Nenshi believed that renaming the Plus 15 to a warmer, more spiritual moniker would help the citizens within them feel more, and love each other more.

The renaming has a purpose, and that purpose is very special to the Mayor.  He, I should say we, believe in the spirit of this change and feel that the city, while a very close community, can use more love, and putting it right out there for the world to see speaks volumes about Naheed Nenshi and his vision for his beloved city. – Roberta Spankcraft, City Councillor Ward 35.2

Signs and technical drafts will be completed in 5-6 months, with the official mapping and even an App for mobile phone users to be released next summer.  There will be a few changes with the impending changes and extension of the Tunnels of Love into Bowness and over the Glenmore reservoir, but those will be adaptations rather than delays.

The feedback on the renaming has yet to really hit media outlets, as most of the population really doesn’t care what is going on right now so soon after an election.