Vactruck operator charged with sucking neighbour’s balls

LLOYDMINSTER, Alberta – The booming oil city of Lloydminster was shocked this morning to news of a local oilfield service operator being arrested and charged with Theft Under $1000 & Destruction of Private Property.  RCMP in Lloydminster have reported that this is the worst case of bad neighbours they have ever come across.

Mitch Sanderwisey, a vacuum truck operator for Suction King out of Bonneville, lives in Crown Landing, a new sub division in the northwestern corner of the ever sprawling center.  Apparently, Sanderwisey’s wife is quite the green thumb and their yard and garden is a sight to be seen.  Neighbouring the Sanderwiseys is a household with 4 athletic children who practice their sports on a 12 hour endless clock both inside and outside their home.  There was an issue of privacy and consideration evolving between the two families as the well manicured yard was periodically inundated with sporting equipment kicked or thrown over the fence between their yards.

I live across the street from these people.  All of them are very nice and I would never had guessed their was an issue between them.  Always chatting and smiling.  A real surprise to hear they were feuding. – Rob Dulchack

The issue began last week when Mr. Sanderwisey came home with a rig from work, stopped and found that the petunias in his back yard had been tramped by soccer and football equipment kicked over the fence.  He proceeded to unpack the hoses from his truck and literally vacuum up all of the balls and a few sports pads he found.  After finishing his own yard, he proceeded to vacuum up everything he could find in his neighbour’s driveway and garage that could possibly come over the fence in the future.

When the neighbor, Dean Pritcheet, came out to investigate, a loud argument ensued, and resulted in Pritcheet almost throwing a punch at Sanderwisey before the police were called to the scene.  All of the equipment was later found to be damaged beyond repair after mixing with the toxic sludge already inside the rigs holding tank from a previous job.

That guy lost his mind!  Why the hell would you just decide to suck someone elses balls?  And does anyone need access to a unit that can suck balls at all?  No one wants their balls sucked.  What a waste.  – Dick Pritcheet  after Sanderwisey’s arrest.

The vacuum truck has been returned to Bonneville and is in a holding yard in case further examination is needed by forensic investigators from Ottawa.  RCMP have refused to comment on the ongoing case, but they report that Sanderwisey was released pending a hearing and has been staying at his brother’s house in Maidstone in the interim.