Drilling rig incident attracts a ‘Mouse’ful of attention

WEYBURN, Saskatchewan – A safety incident gone viral at a drilling rig in eastern Saskatchewan has led to a major investment and copyright deal with filmmaker and worldwide amusement provider Walt Disney.  The incident occurred when a rig worker, whose arm was caught in the rotating assembly near the top of a drilling rig, was spiraled down to the rig floor extremely quickly.  Reports are quick to say he vomitted profusely and shit his pants, but sustained no injuries other than a strained rectum and a sore left hand.

Walt Disney Amusements and Parks expressed an immediate interest in the incident as a theme for its new specialty ride in Disney’s new amusement park in North Dakota, tentatively called ‘Rockin Bakken’, to align with the current oil development boom in the area. The Grand Opening of the new park coincides with a new animated feature film based on a cat who is routinely dropped down gas well bores in Pennsylvania to claw stuck frac balls out of failed packer assemblies.  Apparently he meets a mouse on the rig and decides to move to another state to get married when trouble ensues.

The drilling-rig inspired theme ride, codenamed the Roughneck Rotator, will likely involve strapping children to lengths of drill pipe and pushing them off a rickety platform while their parents snap pictures of them rotating wildly to the ground. According to Jimmy Strokes, a press agent for Walt Disney,

This new ride will be a hit with both locals and tourists. The park’s other attractions such as Frac-A-Mole,  Hide-The-Mess, and 12 Stage-SkeeBall will bring them in, but the ‘Roughneck Rotator’ will keep them coming back.

 

We are very excited about this ride, and our designers and engineers are currently working around the clock to get this ride ready for the summer 2013 season.

Although negotiations over the rights and royalties are ongoing, initial construction of the park is believed to begin as soon as Waterford City Council approves the deal.  Insider reports indicate that with the current population of carnival folk near Williston North Dakota, the location may be subject to change based on the availability of relevant skilled labor.