CALGARY, Alberta - While most oil and gas companies are focused on quarterly results, NextMA Energy Inc. (NME) has decided to think slightly further ahead by developing reservoirs that are expected to become commercially viable sometime around the next mass extinction event. NME (TSX-V: NMA) recently acquired surface rights across 87 townships in the Western Canadian Sedimentary Basin with plans to begin drilling wells that are expected to become economically viable sometime shortly after humanity evolves into glowing telepathic...

KHARG ISLAND, Iran - In what experts are already calling “either a bold geopolitical maneuver or a long weekend gone catastrophically off-script,” 2P News has learned that a flotilla of Canadian oil and gas professionals has successfully arrived on the shores of Kharg Island, apparently intending to take over operations - politely. According to early morning satellite imagery and several confused naval observers, a convoy of pontoon boats and personal watercraft somehow threaded its way through heavily armed U.S. and...

CALGARY, AB — In a shocking but entirely predictable turn of events, organizers of the Darcy Awards have announced Part II of the ceremony, citing “an overwhelming surplus of incompetence” across the oil and gas sector that simply could not be contained in the inaugural award's ceremony that was held back in 2013. The original Darcy Awards, described by insiders as “a celebration of the worst and the worser,” were already considered a logistical failure after the judging committee accidentally...

EDMONTON, Alberta - Facing a stubborn multi-billion-dollar deficit, the Government of Alberta unveiled a bold fiscal recovery plan Tuesday: developing a deeper emotional connection to oil. The strategy, titled Hydrocarbon With Feelings: Budgeting From the Heart, was introduced as officials confirmed this year’s shortfall was “numerically real but spiritually misaligned.” “Previous budgets relied too heavily on math,” said Alberta's Minister of Energy, Bryan Bean, standing before a PowerPoint slide that simply read VIBES (2026). “Next year’s budget will be much stronger...

HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...

CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...

RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust...