CALGARY, AB — In a shocking but entirely predictable turn of events, organizers of the Darcy Awards have announced Part II of the ceremony, citing “an overwhelming surplus of incompetence” across the oil and gas sector that simply could not be contained in the inaugural award's ceremony that was held back in 2013. The original Darcy Awards, described by insiders as “a celebration of the worst and the worser,” were already considered a logistical failure after the judging committee accidentally...

EDMONTON, Alberta - Facing a stubborn multi-billion-dollar deficit, the Government of Alberta unveiled a bold fiscal recovery plan Tuesday: developing a deeper emotional connection to oil. The strategy, titled Hydrocarbon With Feelings: Budgeting From the Heart, was introduced as officials confirmed this year’s shortfall was “numerically real but spiritually misaligned.” “Previous budgets relied too heavily on math,” said Alberta's Minister of Energy, Bryan Bean, standing before a PowerPoint slide that simply read VIBES (2026). “Next year’s budget will be much stronger...

CALGARY — In what officials describe as a “post-mortem emissions-reduction pathway for committed environmentalists,” the Calgary Center for Creative Cremation (CCCC) confirmed Monday that it will begin offering Alberta’s first activist-focused cement integration service in Q2 2026, in partnership with Alberta Aggregates. The program is explicitly designed for environmental activists who wish to continue reducing emissions after death, by having their cremated remains incorporated into engineered cement blends used for well abandonment and environmental remediation projects across the province. “For many...

CALGARY, Alberta - Calgary city council has announced a number of new public transit programs to be implemented early in 2026. These programs aim to improve transit user experience and reduce costs, with a goal to increase ridership within the city's network of light-rail transit trains. “There were dozens of ideas put forward at our internal strategy round table.  Of those we have selected the 10 best proposals we felt could be implemented without years of construction or consultations. The...

CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night. Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...

CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...

RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history.  Deep Thrust...

CALGARY, Alberta - A recent study conducted by a group of scientists assembled and funded by a consortium of major oil and gas producers has concluded that climate change...