Geologist Stirs Controversy with Revolutionary “Under-Superposition” Stratigraphy Theory
CALGARY, Alberta - In a stunning twist to the field of geology, Dr. Hamilton Flipova, the chief geoscientist at the lesser-known Rock Bottom Institute located in Edmonton, Alberta, has made waves with his groundbreaking theory that the oldest geologic formations actually lie above the younger ones in the stratigraphic chart. His thesis, which he refers to as “Reverse Stratigraphy,” has left his peers confused, skeptical, and mildly amused.
“It's simple," Dr. Flipova explained at a recent GeoConvention conference, during which...
Top 12 Oil and Gas Rumours Abound for 2025
CALGARY, Alberta - As 2025 nears, Western Canada’s oil and gas sector is buzzing with wild rumours. From “eco-friendly fracking” using tofu-based lubricants to Alberta towns converting Timbits into biodiesel, the industry’s gossip is in full swing. Some claim the government plans to tax carbon by "Twitter outrage," while others whisper about replacing oil sands trucks with electric horse-drawn carriages. Here is a list of our in-depth analysis of the top 12 rumours shaping the oil and gas narrative...
Next Millenia Energy looking to wow investors with long-range development plans
CALGARY, Alberta - Saskatoon-based Next Millenia Energy Inc. (TSX: NME) has recently acquired surface rights in 87 townships in the WCSB, planning a very unique oil and gas play. In anticipation of future oil and gas pool and trap development, NME is going to place downhole equipment on risers and scaffolding, on site. In 60 to 75 million years, NME hopes to produce from these sites which are then believed to be buried and filled with productive oil reservoir...
Alberta’s Project Dawn Discovery aims to help identify and reduce methane leaks
CALGARY, Alberta - Project Dawn Discovery, the unofficial nickname for a new Alberta energy and sustainability initiative created in conjunction with its energy regulatory arm, the Alberta Oil and Gas Regulator (AOGR), is about to get underway. Following a three-month study and feasibility review, the project has been finalized and approved. The project, Dawn Discovery, relies on a simple chemical engineering premise: Dawn dish soap will bubble in contact with gaseous leaks, akin to checking automotive or bicycle tires...
The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:
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Engineer comes “out of the cooler,” shocks friends and wider oil and gas community
CALGARY, Alberta – In a revelation that has rocked Alberta’s oil patch more than a 17,874,232,981,842.6 nanolitre pipeline spill, longtime senior reservoir engineer Lou Zarr bravely confessed this week...
Saskatoon-based FizzBang H20 shakes up the energy industry
RED DEER, Alberta – In a shocking twist that has left the Canadian energy sector fizzing with excitement, Regina-based beverage titan FizzBang H2O announced today that it has acquired...
Open-pit oil and gas mining coming to Alberta by 2025 Q1
OTTAWA, Ontario – The Canadian oil and gas industry is notorious for its complex and costly techniques, requiring a PhD to understand and an even bigger wallet to execute....
Engineers outraged as Federal Government passes Bill C-420
OTTAWA, Ontario - In a move that has left the engineering community speechless (quite literally), the Canadian government has passed the controversial "Word Quota" bill, limiting engineers to a...
City of Calgary Implements Stringent Water Restrictions as Feeder Water Main Continues to Surprise Engineers
CALGARY, Alberta, August 26, 2024 — In a shocking but perhaps no longer surprising twist, City of Calgary officials, under direction from leader Jyoki Gonyet, have announced a new...
Rumours of Vice President Harris to be courting the most unexpected running mate materialize
SAN FRANCISCO, California - In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Vice President Kamala Harris announced today...
City of Calgary to implement insane economic recovery plan initiatives, says leaked memo
CALGARY, Alberta – A leaked memo from Calgary's city hall revealed a shocking economic plan early this morning that is leaving people bewildered. According to a source that asked...
2P News opens virtual office in Houston
HOUSTON, Texas - 2P News started life as a Calgary-based reprieve from the drudgery of everyday life in the oil patch. Nearly 3 years later, it has grown into an...
Elephant Hired as Exploration Geologist
HOUSTON, Texas – TexxonMogul announced today that it has hired its first pachyderm petroleum geologist. The Indian elephant, who hails from Mumbai and goes by the name Alice, replaces the entire staff of exploration geologists in the Houston office. A special area on the...
Scientists Admit that the Earth is Flat After All
LONDON, England - In perhaps the most astonishing mea culpa in recorded history, representatives of all the major scientific organizations issued a joint statement admitting that the Earth is flat and not the oblate spheroid that has been taught world-wide for centuries. Dr. Phib...
Calgary-based E&P Start-Up to Explore in the Rockies
CALGARY, Alberta – Everyone knows the iconic Three Sisters mountains west of the city of Calgary, but what some don’t know is the hollow mountain theory.
Frank Tymune and George Kasamist have been proposing the theory that the Three Sisters are indeed hollow, or at...
The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists scales down 2019 Technical Conference
CALGARY, Alberta - The Association of Canadian Exploration Geoscientists (ACEG) has formally announced that it will scale down its spring 2019 Technical Convention and Expo scheduled for March 5th, 2018 in order to streamline costs. This year's event will be held in the more...
Fat geologists perform better than thin geologists: Study
CALGARY, Alberta - In a landmark 20-year study, the Canadian Institute of Corpulence in Rotund, Manitoba revealed that well-upholstered geologists performed their tasks marginally better than underweight ones, after making statistical corrections for age, experience and IQ.
The lead consulting researcher for the study, the...
Last Two Palynologists Die, Species Declared Extinct
TULSA, Oklahoma - Palynology, the study of contemporary and fossil palynomorphs, including pollen, spores, orbicules, dinocysts, acritarchs, chitinozoans and scolecodonts (whatever the hell all those things are) has always been the red-headed stepchild of paleontology in the oil and gas industry.
Now, the World Organization...
Subsurface PNG professionals launch Rez-Rescue emergency response
CALGARY, Alberta - It has been said that necessity is the mother of all invention. Here is a case in point from an entrepreneurial point of view in the oil patch.
A group of out-of-work oil and gas subsurface professionals recently launched a consulting company...
MIT engineering prodigy takes geology course, world-record IQ drops 81%
HOUSTON, Texas – Harry Tikklenuts graduated high school at 13, scored perfectly on his SATs, and was admitted to the MIT’s faculty of engineering at the precedent-setting age of 15. His IQ, 162, which is 22 points above the so-called genius benchmark and the...
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Most Commented
Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid
HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...
Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff
CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night.
Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...
Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury
RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history. Deep Thrust...
Dear Andy: What’s the best way to cure a Stampede hangover?
Dear Andy:
My name is Steve and I spent the last week being paraded around like a trophy catch by vendors who aren't really good at anything except buying drinks. I feel like crap and I have work to do. Can you help me find a cure for this damn...
Anti-fracking protesters charged in New Brunswick
LAKETON, New Brunswick - Fredericton RCMP reported earlier today that 2 people were rushed to area hospitals with serious injuries and 37 more sustained minor injuries after a group...
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with ’em.
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with an engineer, you know an engineer, you’ve spotted an engineer, you’ve heard of an engineer, or you’ve thought about murdering an engineer in cold blood...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer with a Calgary-based consulting firm, took it upon himself to rearrange the contents of the dishwasher right beneath his MIL's nose.
So get this, she had...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going for coffee
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources (using his favourite coffee cups), Peter Chekovski bumped into his regular coffee pals, who encouraged him to go for coffee again.
Well, I typically don't go...
