Top 12 Oil and Gas Rumours Abound for 2025
CALGARY, Alberta - As 2025 nears, Western Canada’s oil and gas sector is buzzing with wild rumours. From “eco-friendly fracking” using tofu-based lubricants to Alberta towns converting Timbits into biodiesel, the industry’s gossip is in full swing. Some claim the government plans to tax carbon by "Twitter outrage," while others whisper about replacing oil sands trucks with electric horse-drawn carriages. Here is a list of our in-depth analysis of the top 12 rumours shaping the oil and gas narrative...
Next Millenia Energy looking to wow investors with long-range development plans
CALGARY, Alberta - Saskatoon-based Next Millenia Energy Inc. (TSX: NME) has recently acquired surface rights in 87 townships in the WCSB, planning a very unique oil and gas play. In anticipation of future oil and gas pool and trap development, NME is going to place downhole equipment on risers and scaffolding, on site. In 60 to 75 million years, NME hopes to produce from these sites which are then believed to be buried and filled with productive oil reservoir...
Alberta’s Project Dawn Discovery aims to help identify and reduce methane leaks
CALGARY, Alberta - Project Dawn Discovery, the unofficial nickname for a new Alberta energy and sustainability initiative created in conjunction with its energy regulatory arm, the Alberta Oil and Gas Regulator (AOGR), is about to get underway. Following a three-month study and feasibility review, the project has been finalized and approved. The project, Dawn Discovery, relies on a simple chemical engineering premise: Dawn dish soap will bubble in contact with gaseous leaks, akin to checking automotive or bicycle tires...
Zombie Wells: The Partisan Plague of Trinity Bay – Movie Review
"At its best/worst, 'Zombie Wells' hallucinatory idiocy inspires open-mouthed horror at what happens when an ill-conceived premise leads to an even more jaw-droppingly misguided execution." - Bruce Bayerson, Trinity Bay Journal
"The kid in front of me at the theatre spent most of the movie playing Tetris on his phone. I didn't care enough about the movie to ask him to stop or find a cooler game to play." - Reece Rhyder, The Houston Times
The Bottom Line
A bone-chilling thriller that...
The profession that is most important to the success of the Oil and Gas industry across western Canada is:
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Engineer comes “out of the cooler,” shocks friends and wider oil and gas community
CALGARY, Alberta – In a revelation that has rocked Alberta’s oil patch more than a 17,874,232,981,842.6 nanolitre pipeline spill, longtime senior reservoir engineer Lou Zarr bravely confessed this week...
Saskatoon-based FizzBang H20 shakes up the energy industry
RED DEER, Alberta – In a shocking twist that has left the Canadian energy sector fizzing with excitement, Regina-based beverage titan FizzBang H2O announced today that it has acquired...
Open-pit oil and gas mining coming to Alberta by 2025 Q1
OTTAWA, Ontario – The Canadian oil and gas industry is notorious for its complex and costly techniques, requiring a PhD to understand and an even bigger wallet to execute....
Engineers outraged as Federal Government passes Bill C-420
OTTAWA, Ontario - In a move that has left the engineering community speechless (quite literally), the Canadian government has passed the controversial "Word Quota" bill, limiting engineers to a...
City of Calgary Implements Stringent Water Restrictions as Feeder Water Main Continues to Surprise Engineers
CALGARY, Alberta, August 26, 2024 — In a shocking but perhaps no longer surprising twist, City of Calgary officials, under direction from leader Jyoki Gonyet, have announced a new...
Rumours of Vice President Harris to be courting the most unexpected running mate materialize
SAN FRANCISCO, California - In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and comedians rubbing their hands in glee, Vice President Kamala Harris announced today...
Elon Musk announces E-Pipeline
Santa Melon, CA - Elon Musk has announced a new startup company, Powerlines. With this new project, he has designed the world's first pipeline that will be devoid of...
Notley vows to purchase Devon Energy
Edmonton, Alberta - Alberta Premier Rachael Notley announced this afternoon the NDP's plan to purchase in its entirety, Devon Energy's Canadian assets and operations. The move comes as Devon...
Geologists make startling discovery, CBC outraged with denial
CALGARY, Alberta - There is a universal question that most people ask when they meet a geologist. What can you tell me about dinosaurs? Although that question is specifically pale-ontological, geologists are still expected to answer it.
A group of geologists with a fair understanding...
2P News to join ISS as Russia plans to pull out
CALGARY, Alberta - Russia says it will put out of the International Space Station after 2024 and build its own orbiter. NASA considering 2P Space Agency as a replacement.
Space agencies from the US, Russia, and other partner countries have successfully worked on the ISS...
Breaking News: Suspects stowaway on SpaceEX rocket planning to access moon for oil exploration
ORLANDO, Florida – Seven security guards at Cape Canaveral Air Force Base were assaulted by 4 suspects who forced entry into a SpaceEX rocket with plans to commandeer the satellite within it in an effort to secure a trip to the moon for oil...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool Resources, inadvertently stumbled across a potential new type of resource play while fooling around with geology as his geoscience team was away on a field trip. Johan had been...
Magnetic Monopoles Uncover Hidden Geologic Structures
EAST MAGNETIC POLE, Poland – Every middle school science class includes experiments with bar magnets. No matter how many times a bar magnet is cut in two, each fragment still has a north and a south pole, called a dipole. Until now, a magnetic...
Geologist Discovers What “The Gostak Distims the Doshes” Means
BREA, California - In 1923 C. K. Ogden and I. A. Richards wrote a book called The Meaning of Meaning. In it was a story about a man who travels to a distant, unfamiliar place and repeatedly hears the inhabitants use the phrase “the...
Unemployed Petroleum Professionals Technical Conference coming to Calgary this summer!
CALGARY, Alberta - The Canadian Society of Unemployed Petroleum Professionals (CSUPP) is hosting its inaugural Technical Conference & Exhibition this summer. The society, whose membership has steadily grown by upwards of 1,247 per cent per year since early 2015, believes that this is an...
UN moves to ban geological studies worldwide
"It is because of the study of geology that our dear earth is in shambles," UN chief
Changes to take effect January 1st, 2020
NEW YORK, New York - This morning, Jurgen Dagnaut, Chancellor of the Scientific Review panel at the United Nations, announced...
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Most Commented
Houston area man drills well in backyard, charges laid
HOUSTON, Texas - A Sugar Land, TX man and his neighbour are in police custody after the duo drilled an unauthorized gas well in the backyard of one of...
Geologist assaulted for teasing MWD staff
CALGARY, Alberta - A senior wellsite geologist has been hospitalized after a violent incident on a drilling rig in northern Alberta last night.
Ricky Rockerson was violently beaten to within...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the patterns required in CandyCrush and Tetris to oil and gas plays, has designed a new...
Crustal drilling project results in Volcano near Didsbury
RED DEER, Alberta - Central Alberta was thrust into chaos this morning when a deep test well may have instigated the first active volcano in Alberta's history. Deep Thrust...
Dear Annie, I’m surrounded by idiots at work, what can I do?
Dear Annie:
My name is Candi. I am an engineer working for a design and integrity firm in Calgary. I work with a large number of men and they always do the dumbest things and make the worst mistakes. If I call them on it, I will get harassed and...
Duck-billed Platypus Trained to Locate Pipeline Leaks
OVIPAROUS, Manitoba - Dr. Phineas Flynn of the Semi-Aquatic Egg-Laying Mammal Institute of Manitoba announced today that he has successfully trained a duck-billed platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus) to detect underground...
Scientists invent a process to convert formation water into light oil
CALGARY, Alberta - In a remarkable scientific breakthrough, 2 scientists from the research labs at...
GeoPhone App used to record the seismology of love-making
CALGARY, Alberta - Junior geophysicist and sexual deviant, Dustin "boom boom" Weaver, has remarkably been...
Geologist finds a strong best fit through an amorphous cloud on poro-perm plot
CALGARY, Alberta - There is no question that geology is a subjective science that is...
No pipelines, no trains, just Ass
HARDISTY, Alberta - Pipelines leak. Got it. Trains derail. Got it. So what is the...
Legendary geologist, Rocky Mindsporge, invents new crayons
CALGARY, Alberta - Superstar geology legend Rocky Mindsporge, renowned for his ability to correlate the...
HR department develops online survey to assess effectiveness of online surveys
CALGARY, Alberta - The Human Resources department of an intermediate oil and gas producer headquartered...
Former oil company executive relegated to greeter
CALGARY, Alberta -The ever growing price differential for bitumen continues to squeeze the netbacks for...
Reservoir engineer creates ‘Neg Pay’ map
HOUSTON, Texas (June 2012) - Johan Fabroni, an enigmatic junior reservoir engineer at Houston-based Drypool...
Aliens vs. Geophysicists – Vibratory Revenge: Movie Review
The Bottom Line
This geophyical, sci-fi revenge fantasy thriller fails to deliver on all fronts.
Director-Screenwriter
Francis Birch
Cast
Brad...
Anne Hydrite and Ray Tracing – A love story
Anne Hydrite first laid eyes on Ray Tracing at an oil and gas convention in...
Back in the Day
Engineers. Love ’em or hate ’em, you likely gotta deal with ’em.
Engineers. If you live in Calgary, there is a good chance you are an engineer, you are married to an engineer, you work with an engineer, you know an engineer, you’ve spotted an engineer, you’ve heard of an engineer, or you’ve thought about murdering an engineer in cold blood...
Engineer rearranges contents of dishwasher to optimize dirty dish density
CALGARY, Alberta - After seeing his visiting mother-in-law load the dishwasher following a rather large Sunday afternoon family dinner, Anton McKnight, a Petrophysical Engineer with a Calgary-based consulting firm, took it upon himself to rearrange the contents of the dishwasher right beneath his MIL's nose.
So get this, she had...
Production tech goes for coffee on the way back from going for coffee
CALGARY, Alberta - On his way back from a 45 minute morning coffee run with 3 of his production engineering colleagues at Subterra Resources (using his favourite coffee cups), Peter Chekovski bumped into his regular coffee pals, who encouraged him to go for coffee again.
Well, I typically don't go...
